This post brought to you by delayed flights which give people more time to drink too many cocktails in the terminal. This is the story of myself and the incredibly intoxicated lady in the seat next to me, we'll call her Skyy...
I'm sitting quietly watching my movie, on the flight home from Boston.
Our flight has been delayed so I just want to get home and see my cats at this point.
I won't slander the airline by disclosing their name, but it rhymes with SmouthQuest. Anyway.
**Lucy has just realized she is in love with Gru. She jumps from the plane and uses her spy hang glider to coast to his location. Oh no! She is captured by El Macho and his chicken Pollito and then!!.......**
Skyy, who I believe by this point has bathed in a mixture of Chanel No 5 and Moscow Mule, tugs on my ear bud...ON MY EAR BUD. I pull it out.
Skyy, "Whudarre yew watchin?"
Me, (seriously? this is happening?) "Despicable Me 2." (Somewhat curtly, I will admit) Place headphones back in ear.
**Gru and his team shoot all of the mutated Minions with antidote jelly! They are returning to their happy yellow state! But oh no! El Macho shoots himself with the mutagen! He begins to grow into a giant purple ....**
Skyy, Tugs on my ear bud cord AGAIN. I remove it. Again. Skyy points to the row behind us.
"Heyy, thad little asian boy iss watchin yer movie from behinnd you." She snickers as if we are the only two lucky enough to be privy to this world class secret. I smile at him, "That's fine."
Place earbuds back in ears. Curtly x2.
My movie ends so I frantically search for another so Skyy wont take this window to start a conversation about current events she saw on her Facebook wall or the quality of the peanuts on this flight (Which I would have gone to bat for I might add. They were excellent.)
I quickly find that I only have one other movie to choose from however.
Drat. Riddick. Ugh...The third one?? Fine. I push play.
*Tap* *Tap* *Tap* on my shoulder..... Skyy.
"Whud kinda moviez dewyuh like?" ..... huh? .... It being an evidently rhetorical question, she continues. "I like romannmovieez. I like thad movie 'Three Hundred annnnnnndd Twelve?'.....'Three Hundred annnnnnnnndd Fordy Nine?'
Me, "300?".......... Skyy,"THAZ THUH ONE!!"
I don't replace my earbuds. I'm down for the count at this point. Me and Skyy are finishing this flight together I suppose. She feels the same, "Heyy are yew frumm Florda? I can tell yer frumm Florda." I answer in affirmation. The typical conversation ensues,
Where do I work?
What do I do?
I'm a performer.
So you're an acrobat?
"Sooo yer an acrobad?" "Um, no. I'm not an acrobat." "So yurrron Broadway?" "No, that's in New York."
Long story short, I don't think Skyy will remember me tomorrow, but I'll remember her. She's another mark on my tally sheet of weird flight stories. And I'll cherish her forever.
Thank you SmouthQuest. Thank you.